That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
