3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
