i don't like sucking hair
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
two words...techno handjob
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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