We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
