You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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