You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
