Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No I am not eating basil off your cock
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
