do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
