I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
