I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
