I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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