similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
