She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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