I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
