We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
