Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
