miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
