Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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