i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
