Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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