Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So vagazzling was a success
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
