Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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