I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
