My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
