when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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