You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize