I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
