do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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