Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
