First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
