my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
