I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
