Four minutes until I can fart!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
