I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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