so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
