Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
