only you would photoshop your dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
