I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
