Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
