Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize