You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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