Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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