if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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