new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
