Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you win again, gameday.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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