who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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