he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I believe in your delicious
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
