those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
