So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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