nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
