I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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