Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize