So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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