if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
