forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
