too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize