Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize