do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I forget how to act sober
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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