the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I will be naked everywhere
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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