The maid of honor just puked.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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