Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
