My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
