"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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