Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
