At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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