im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
