I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
