you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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