She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
