I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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