another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Enjoy the penises
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
