Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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