It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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