spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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