Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
