yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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