You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
