would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How external is "for external use only"?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize