she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
