I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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