is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
