We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
